Rape: the worst crime
Rape and survival, both are related. What happens to someone
who has been raped? What happens to her life? How does she get
over that single event that changes her entire life? How does
she get past that roadblock that stands firm in the middle of
her entire existence? How does she live, even one day at a time,
after an event that is one step short of murder? Rape has been
called soul murder. Those who have never been raped do not understand
the full impact that rape has upon the victim.
Some see rape as a one-time crime that is ended the moment the
day is over. Others see rape as an act of sex. Still others see
rape as something that does not exist. But only those who have
been raped or those who have been victims of attempted rape know
the full impact of this illegal act. Rape affects the mind, body,
and soul. It changes the victim and her life from the very instant
that it happens. Yet, because of the nature of the crime and because
of the way society acts towards the victims and criminals, the
real truth rarely comes out about rape or about rapists.
Rape is not an act of sex and will never be an act of sex.
Rape has nothing to do with sex. Rape is purely an act of violence
and control. Plain and simple, violence and control are the key
goals of most rapists. The criminal wishes to control the victim
and, most times, the criminal exerts that control through violence
or threats or both at once. Only once one realizes that rape has
nothing to do with sex can one finally come to understand what
rape really is.
Rape has never been about sex. When you hear a rapist claim
that the act of rape was sex or consensual sex, right off the
bat, you can pretty much guess that the criminal is fabricating
a story. Rape is not about sex. Rape is not sex.
There is nothing sexy at all about rape, and anyone can fall
victim to it. Rape does not discriminate on the basis of physical
appearance, clothing, nationality, age, religion, ability, status,
class, or nationality. Rapists are criminals and they will rape
anyone that they want to rape. However, there are things that
you can do to lessen your chances of being that next victim. There
are no guarantees—just preparations and warnings.
Rape is not about asking for it.
No rape victim asks to be raped nor wants to be raped. When society
does not understand the crime of rape, society ignorantly states
that the victim asked for it. No one would want a violent crime
committed against her, and that includes rape victims.
When we judge or stigmatize the victims of rape and when we allow
rapists to go free, we allow society to think that is okay to
Anyone can be a rapist.
All that is necessary is a violent nature and the wish to control
another human being. A rapist can be a 18-year-old or a rapist
can be a 78-year-old. Rapists do not fall into a particular category,
description, or stereotype. Rapists know no limits and transcend
all ages, professions, religions, classes, neighborhoods, ethnicities.
Rape happens within marriages and spousal relationships. Nevertheless,
rape within a marriage is still rape. Rape is a crime. Yet, many
boyfriends and husbands are never held accountable for this crime.
Young and inexperienced
What young men and women need to learn and to remember is that
it does not matter what kind of date you have any more than it
matters what kind of person you choose to date. Dating someone—going
to a movie or having a casual dinner together—does not imply
that one must have sex. Dating someone does constitute consent:
dating someone not give anyone the authority or permission to
rape another. Regardless of the money spent on a date, fancy restaurant,
movie, or gift, noone has the right to demand sex from another.
No means no.
Under §273.1 of Canada's Criminal Code and in reference
to sexual assaults, "consent" refers to:
the voluntary agreement of the complainant to engage in the
sexual activity in question.
Consent is not given if:
- It is given by someone else;
- The person is unconscious, drunk, stoned, or sleeping;
- It is an abuse of power, trust, or authority;
- The person does not say yes, says no, or through words
or behavior implies no; or
- The person changes her or his mind.