Sexual assault

Emotional aftereffects of rape: healing is possible

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Rape engenders a multitude of feelings, some more prominent than others. However, you can heal.

Fear

Usually, a sexual assault survivor experiences the fear of losing her/his life. Therefore, fear is the dominant emotion. Talk with a professional who specializes in mind, body, and spirit healing about measures you can take to feel safe during your healing process: are the doors and windows locked, and are emergency phone numbers easily accessible? As a result of this fear, rape survivors generally need to make changes in lifestyle and this loss of freedom may bring up anger. Focus on personal strengths and on the present rather than on the past.

Anger

There is often as much anger at the events following the assault as there is toward the assault itself—anger at needing to change one's lifestyle, at a loss of freedom, at being told to "get over it" by friends, family, or authorities. Validate your feelings of anger and create a safe place and time for expression. How can you express your anger in a constructive way? Does the expression of anger help to diffuse it?

Guilt and shame

Even though a survivor may know that she/he is not responsible for the assault, the reactions of those around her/him, and the actions of the media, these may nevertheless create feelings of guilt, shame, and responsibility. It is often easier to take the responsibility for blame than it is to accept that the rape was an experience you never anticipated. Be supportive and nurturing of yourself. Accept other's limitations and separate others' problems from your own.

Loss of trust

Often, survivors lose all faith in others or males. Validate your feelings as understandable, but remind yourself that people can be trusted and counted on. In any case, people need to earn your trust.

Extreme anxiety

The stress of the legal process, the loss of sleep, and the seeming lack of control can cause a person to feel as though she is going crazy. Reassure yourself that these feelings are understandable reactions to a crazy situation. Focus on the things over which you do have control, and narrow problems to those that can be addressed right now.

Healing is possible. Healing emotional issues at the core addresses the all-important relationship to one's true spiritual nature. Transforming the psychological conditional patterns and unconscious beliefs that arise from our personal histories and adaptations effectively transforms our mind, body, and spirit.

Use a seven-step process that is direct and focused and that combines healing the past while creating the future. Transform how you feel, sense, and experience global political mass consciousness, as well as your individual consciousness, like never before. A mind-body-spirit approach addresses the three critical aspects of one's being, thereby opening the door to true balance and emotional healing.

Well-being comes from our understanding of the Self, the family, the local community in which we live, and the global community of which we are a part. We are each one heart of the Whole, each heart here to express its unique piece of the Whole. Knowing Self creates a sense of "I as a piece of this Whole" different and one at the same time.