Child sexual abuse/incest

Why are children afraid to disclose their abuse?

Because abusers often threaten children with violence, victims of child sexual abuse or incest are often afraid to disclose their abuse. Abusers may threaten victims, their families, and their friends to ensure silence. Younger children may be sworn to secrecy by the idea of a "secret pact" and the "adulation" they appear to receive from their abusers—"You're very special and this is our special secret, okay?"

Children also fear rejection, ridicule, and ostracism. Abusers manipulate their victims into believing people will judge them for having participated in the act of incest. Abusers convince their victims they will be rejected and hated if they disclose their abuse.

If children were raised to think of sex as dirty, guilt and shame may prevent victims from seeking help after incest has occurred. If victims were raised in strict families, their fear of the authority figure often outweighs their need to get help.

Children may also be confused about their experience. Unless they've been taught to distinguish "good touch" from "bad touch", they may be unclear about what to do and as a result, they may choose to remain silent.

Adolescent victims of incest may wonder whether their experience constitutes incest, particularly if they experienced sexual climax during the event. The matter of bodily response is of no importance here; what matter are consent and legality. If a victim is under the age of majority and did not consent to the sexual contact, the experience may be deemed incest. Climax should not be considered consent, although misinformed juries sometimes think otherwise. Sexual contact with a minor is a crime.

Sex is the manner in which abusers gain and maintain power over their victims. Incest isn't about sex but rather, it is about demeaning, objectifying, and humiliating the victim as much as possible. We read about battles in which the winning army would "rape and pillage". The warriors' actions weren't motivated by a desire for sex. Rather, rape was the ultimate humiliation, the ultimate act of domination and violence. Perpetrators of incest know this.