Domestic violence

The effects of abuse

Physical abuse can result in injuries, some of which can lead to long-term health complications. Physical abuse is nearly always accompanied by some form of emotional abuse—emotional abuse beyond the emotional abusive nature of the assault itself. As a matter of fact, abuse may be predominantly psychological or emotional in nature. A woman's reactions to abuse may be apparent right away, or they may continue long after the abuse has stopped. Her reactions are largely shaped by other individuals' responses to her allegations and disclosures of abuse.

What's already known about the effects of abuse on heterosexual women allows us to better anticipate and understand the effects it will have on a lesbian abused by her partner. We also need to bear in mind that homophobia and internalized oppression may add to the effects.

In many cases, it's difficult to separate the emotional damage resulting from abuse from other harmful effects of abuse. Common effects of abuse on women, whether heterosexual or lesbian, include:

Self-blame

Most women who are abused believed the abuse is somehow their fault. They believe they are to blame for the abuse, that they caused it, and that they can somehow stop it. Many believe abuse is a sign of having failed to make the relationship work.

Physical signs and symptoms

Women who are abused often experience anxiety, tension, low energy, depression, insomnia, change in appetite and physical aches and pains such as headahces. These symptoms are not necessarily directly caused by physical injury.

Shame

Often, women who are abused feel ashamed of what's happened. Shame very often prevents them from confiding in others and from disclosing the details of their abuse to legal authorities and medical personnel.

Low self-esteem and lack of confidence

In nearly all cases of abuse, women report feelings of intense worthlessness and inadequacy. These feelings, although a result of abuse, transcend to other areas of a victim's life, affecting her sense of self-worth and her ability to manage her day-to-day life. While this affects all women, regardless of sexual orientation, lesbians may have a harder time coping: they may already have a negative self-image — the result of internalizing the social messages that degrade and reject lesbianism. Such feelings of sheer worthlessness and helplessness often prevent women from seeking help or from telling others about their experience. In the case of lesbians, some victims believe that because of their sexual orientation, they somehow deserve abuse and do not deserve help. These feelings may be especially intense in lesbians of other ethnic groups and among lesbians suffering a physical or developmental disability.

Anger

Women who are abused frequently experience difficulty in expressing anger related to their abuse. Some may turn this anger toward themseves. In some cases, this can lead women to hurt themselves (i.e. burning and cutting).

Fear

Many women fear their abuser will repeat his or her abusive behavior. Victims fear future incidents of abuse.

Isolation from others

Women who are abused may withdraw from social activities, friends, or family. They may choose to no longer participate in racial, ethnic, religious, or community activities. This isolation may be the result of threats and manipulation by her abuser or from a desire to keep the abusive nature of her relationship secret. It may also be the result of shame.

Fear of being dismissed by others

Unfortunately, after telling others of their abuse, some women have experienced ridicule. Their abuse was minimized, condoned, or excused. This very often leaves women feeling alone, without immediate resources and support, and believing they are inherently flawed.

Self-regulation and hyper-vigilance

As an attempt to prevent further abuse, some women may restrict or modify their words or actions.

Avoiding social situations

If a woman has left an abusive relationship, she may avoid activities and social situations that might bring her into contact with her former abusive partner. She may also avoid situations in which there are likely to be mutual friends who are unsupportive or neutral.