Miscarriage and loss

Miscarriage: learning to cope

By Kelly Price

When a pregnancy thought to be normal suddenly ends, the results for the expectant parents are utterly devastating and pregnancy after miscarriage is surrounded with a great deal of anxiety and fear.

If you are thinking about becoming pregnant after miscarriage, here are simple tips that will help.

Pregnancy after miscarriage

A miscarriage can be an extremely frightening and sad experience and for many considering pregnancy after miscarriage, there is a much uncertainty as to whether a subsequent pregnancy will end in the same way.

What causes miscarriage?

The causes of miscarriage are still somewhat unclear particularly when miscarriage occurs in the first trimester, as most miscarriages do.

As many as 50% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, often before a woman even realizes she is pregnant. Most of these miscarriages occur when a pregnancy is not developing normally, and usually there is nothing that can be done to prevent it.

A small percentage of women will experience repeat miscarriages, and in some cases there can be an underlying problem that may require treatment. Most women go on to have a successful pregnancy after miscarriage.

How long should I wait after miscarriage before trying to become pregnant again?

Pregnancy after miscarriage can be an emotional rollercoaster.

A woman may experience sadness, numbness, guilt, depression, and anger. You and your partner may deal with grief in different ways, creating tension between you both at a time when you need each other most.

It is important to grieve. Talking through your emotions with someone trained to help, such as a bereavement counselor or someone experienced in dealing with pregnancy loss, would be enormously beneficial, prior to considering pregnancy after miscarriage.

Deciding when to try again is a decision only you as a couple can make. There may be a temptation to be pregnant again immediately, in an attempt to deal with the heartache of your loss, but you should wait until you are physically and emotionally ready.

The changes that pregnancy itself causes, can put a woman and her body under additional physical and emotional stress, therefore pregnancy after miscarriage is going to be even more so.

If a woman's body isn't ready to support a pregnancy by the time that she conceives again, she faces an increased risk of experiencing a repeat miscarriage.

There is no perfect time, but many health professionals suggest a period of at least a few months to strengthen the chance of a healthy pregnancy.

How might we expect to feel during the next pregnancy?

Pregnancy after miscarriage may not be the joyful experience you may have imagined and you may find it difficult connecting to your unborn baby for fear of further loss.

It is important to remember that however you may feel now, you will want to look back, remember and cherish the milestones, whatever the outcome.

Pregnancy after miscarriage: remaining positive

• Discuss any fears or concerns you have with your healthcare provider.
• Insist that your pregnancy be monitored carefully.
• As with your previous pregnancy, everybody will suddenly become an expert! The easiest way to handle their suggestions is to listen, and then do whatever you, your partner, and medical team feel is best.
• You may want to avoid early preparation for the baby's arrival, but try to keep things in perspective.

Pregnancy after miscarriage: looking after yourself

• Form a good support network.
• Try to ensure your pregnancy is as stress free as possible.
• Set aside some time every day to practise relaxation.
• Visualize what you want and how you would like your pregnancy to go.

Use a child preparation CD

There are a number of good childbirth preparation CDs available that can help you with this. These CDs can focus you mind to become less stressed and more relaxed so you can face your pregnancy in the best state of mind.

Becoming pregnant after miscarriage won't replace the lost pregnancy but may help you by refocusing your attention.

Remember that maternal emotions can affect your unborn baby and so it will be more beneficial for you and your baby if you try to adopt a positive outlook.

For more free information on how to cope with pregnacy and miscarriage as well as advice on all aspects of pregnancy and a varitey of birth CDs, that will help you relax and achieve a positive state of mind visit www.childbirthnaturally.com.