Infertility

Coping with infertility

Infertility: how to cope with it
12 tips for coping with infertility

Infertility: how to cope with it

By Michael Russell

Infertility is a condition wherein a woman cannot conceive children or a man cannot father them. The condition can be temporary which can be treated or it can be permanent.

Education can help both you and your family cope with your infertility. Use every spare moment to read and learn more about infertility, its causes, its available treatments, the statistics concerning the success of certain treatments, and the drugs involved with treatment. Being armed with knowledge can help you feel in control of your situation: knowing everything about the treatment you will undergo will make a big difference. Being aware of your situation and its possible outcome will put the patient and the family more at ease.

Talking to your partner or spouse can also be very helpful indeed. It is nice to be able to open up to how each of you feels about the condition and how you will face it together. The entire process, from the diagnosis of infertility to its treatment, can overwhelm most couples and cause them to lose their sense of connectedness. It is essential that you spend time together now that you need each other’s support the most. Talk about the treatment.

To help you get through the situation would also require the support of other people aside from your family. Support groups and forums can give you that sense of belonging to a community where you basically share the same sentiment or condition. You can share your feelings, and it feels great knowing that the people listening to you understand where you are coming from. In turn, the people in these groups can share their experiences—stories from which you can draw strength and inspiration.

There are always other options in addition to fertility drugs and infertility treatments. If you and your partner want to build a family, adoption is always an option, and you can give a child the love and the home it truly deserves. If one of you wants or decides to stop with the treatments, talk it out together and consult with your physician. It is not the end of the world if you cannot have children.

The whole situation can be both physically as well as emotionally draining. Take the opportunity to forget about it and to do other things: engage in a sport or a hobby. Try to find something that’ll take your mind off infertility and pregnancy.

If you haven’t been spending that much quality time together with your spouse or partner, take the time to still go out on dates to celebrate your relationship. Avoid discussing topics concerning your condition. If you are stressed from the treatment, take a break from it for one cycle just to feel liberated. Escape from what you are going through by taking a vacation. It doesn’t have to be an exotic getaway—even a night or two out of town will do.

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12 tips for coping with infertility

By Antoinette Boulay

Multiple stages of infertility exist. First is the realization that you are experiencing infertility, then an evaluation and diagnosis, and the final stage, which is treatment and an outcome. Through each of these stages, a couple faces many conflicting emotions. There are coping strategies that can be applied during each stage that will help to ease the pain and allow the couple to cope with their fertility problem.

Discovery stage

Most couples talk with each other about when to start having their children. They may plan conception around their careers or monetary readiness. They feel that they have a measure of control over timing, that is, until infertility strikes and the illusion of control is gone. Commonly it is the female that is first to question why it is taking so long to conceive. She is more in tuned to her cycles and to their passing. Males usually do not want to admit that there may be a problem. The female is usually the one to bring up the need for medical attention.

Fear is a normal emotion at this stage as they question what the possibilities will be. Is one or both of them sterile? Will they ever be able to have a baby? Who is responsible for their infertility or is it both of them? In addition to fear a couple may also experience jealousy, anger, denial, guilt, frustration, and self-pity. They may feel anger at each other, anger at their bodies, or anger towards the unfairness of it all.

Men in particular grapple with denial. It is hard for a man to admit that he can't be successful at what should be a natural act. Each negative test adds to the building frustration felt by the couple. They may try many fertility aids that are available like charting software or ovulation kits only to be even more frustrated at their failure.

Guilt sets in as they come to realize their baby dreams are not going to happen as easily as they imagined; they look to assign guilt. Jealousy can happen as they encounter other pregnant couples around them. Usually they'll take for granted that they have done something wrong, which feeds their guilt. As the couple struggles with all these emotions conflict is likely to appear, causing more friction in the relationship.

1. Join support groups in your community or online.
2. Seek medical diagnosis and treatment if you are one or both are aged 35 or older and you have been trying for 6 months or longer. If both are under age 35 and have been trying for a year or more, you should seek help.
3. Understand that your partner's feelings may differ from yours on different aspects of the infertility process.
4. Discuss with your spouse during this process not only about what is happening but also how you feel about things and what each other's needs are.

Diagnosis/evaluation

This can be an extremely anxious time. You desire answers and need to go through examinations and tests before getting any. You might find out at the end of the evaluation what your fertility diagnosis is; some couples are told that there is no explanation for their infertility. This phase, as well as being emotional, can be expensive, painful physically, and stressful. Not all infertility tests are covered by insurance, so you must weigh the cost of finding out why they are infertile, against other financial needs. This stage can be a real test of the couple's determination to conceive and just how willing they are to invest time and money into having a baby.

1. Communicate with your doctor and your partner.
2. Educate yourself about infertility.
3. Support each other emotionally during this stressful time.

Treatment/resolution

Now comes the stage at which the couple has to choose how far they are willing to go to have a baby. How much is covered by their insurance and how much do they choose to cover out of pocket? Are they willing to drain bank accounts, take out second or even third mortgages, or straight out loans? Which treatments they are willing to undergo? Decisions have to be made and the couple must work together as a team to in order to make them. Emotions strengthen as the journey ends in a success with a baby or a failure with the acceptance that they will remain childless. Adoption may be discussed at this stage, as the couple grapples their options.

1. It is important to keep good records of all treatments as well as financial records (medical records, insurance papers etc.)
2. It is important to keep good records of all treatments as well as financial records (medical records, insurance papers etc.)
3. Seek support from those who have gone through treatments before you and can advise you.
4. Support each other, and listen to the needs of each other.
5. Communicate with your medical staff about how you are handling the treatments.
6. Enjoy "couple time" separate from "infertility time".

Visit www.medopedia.com to learn more about infertility treatments for women.