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Pregnancy

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Adoption

If you're thinking of placing your child for adoption…

Placing a child for adoption is an important decision: it influences birth parents, adopted children, and adoptive families for a lifetime. The decision to place your child for adoption may therefore be difficult and confusing. Consequently, as the birth parent, you have the right to carefully consider your pregnancy options before making this important choice. No one has the right to pressure you into putting your child up for adoption.

If you're considering adoption, you'll need to make an adoption plan for your child. It may help you to find a doctor who understands your needs and who can help you devise an adoption plan and support you through the adoption process.

Your adoption plan will involve contacting various adoption agencies to learn how they operate and how they will find a suitable family for your baby.

Types of adoptions

You will need to decide whether to place your baby up for public or private adoption. Public adoptions are set up by organizations such as Family and Children's Services; private adoptions are planned by lawyers or social workers. Bear in mind, however, that not every lawyer or social worker can arrange an adoption. People and agencies dealing with adoption must be licensed.

Public adoption

If a public adoption is your preferred choice, you can call a placement organization to speak with a pregnancy counsellor or social worker. This agency adoption worker will help you by discussing your pregnancy options, supporting your decisions, and providing balanced, non-judgmental information about the adoption process and about alternatives to adoption (i.e., medical options such as abortion). The adoption worker may also ask whether you've thought about caring for your baby with the assistance of child support or whether you can leave your baby in the care of family members.

In other words, these questions are asked to ensure you are making an informed decision about adoption. Understand that the agency adoption worker is your advocate: he or she advocates for birth parents' choices and will help you in making a decision that is in your best interest and in the best interest of your child.

Ultimately, if you choose to place your baby up for adoption, the adoption worker will advocate for you in selecting adoptive parents for your baby. The final decision, however, is always yours. In Canada, public adoptions are free and confidential.

Private adoption

Unlike a public adoption that is facilitated by an agency or by an organization, a private adoption is an arrangement between the birth parents and potential adoptive parents. This arrangement is facilitated by a licensed lawyer or social worker. In Canada, all licensed lawyers and social workers working in private adoptions must first be approved by the Ministry in their province. The provincial Ministry gives final approval to all private adoptions: because all private adoption must adhere to specific guidelines, and because all licensed professionals working in private adoptions are required to abide by specific requirements, private adoptions are as safe as public adoptions.

What to expect from your adoption worker

When you've decided to place your baby for adoption, the adoption worker assigned to you will discuss your emotional reactions to placing your child for adoption. Understandably, you may experience a great sense of loss. Your adoption worker will be able to assist you in grieving this loss and in dealing with the myriad strong emotions you may experience. He or she may also refer you to supportive services designed to help you with these feelings.

In addition to providing you with information and emotional support, the adoption worker will also discuss with you your continued involvement in the adoption process. When birth parents participate in the adoption process, it helps ensure the adoption is carried out in the best interests of the child. As the birth parent, you can become involved in the adoption process in a number of different ways:

  • You can assist in the selection of an adoptive family for your child. You'll look at a number of profiles of people—usually couples, but not always—interested in adopting a child. Once you've chosen a few profiles you're comfortable with, the potential adoptive parents are given a profile of your child. As the birth parents, you and your partner are entitled to non-identifying information about the potential adoptive family. If what you as birth parents are looking for is compatible with what the adoptive parents would like, the terms of the adoption are discussed.
  • As birth parents, you and your partner will be required to provide the adoptive parents with detailed information about your baby's birth family, including a medical and social history. The medical history helps the adoptive family identify any possible genetically transmitted health conditions your baby may have inherited. The social history may include information about family history and/or a letter to your baby explaining why you (and your partner) as the birth parent(s) chose to make an adoption plan. This information is kept on file in the event your child, at a later date, requests it. Such information can be important in helping your child develop a healthy sense of self as he or she grows up.
  • You can become involved in key decisions about the relationships you and other significant people will have with your child after the adoption. Plans that deal with ongoing post-adoption relationships are called openness agreements. Openness makes it easier for birth parents and adoptive families to exchange information. Similarly, openness between adoptive families and members of a child's birth family help the adopted child develop a healthy sense of self and of belonging.
  • If you are your child's legal guardian, you may be required to sign an adoption consent in order to finalize the adoption.

Home study

Before a family can adopt a child, a home study must be conducted. A home study consists of a series of interviews between an approved social worker and the potential adoptive family. Through these interviews, the social worker investigates potential families' income, overall health, and emotional stability. These investigations are done to ensure the child being placed for adoption will have a good home and a loving environment in which to grow up.

Adption

Editor's pick

Following is just one of the wonderful books on this topic available from Amazon.com. Click on the cover art to learn more.

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