Grief and loss

Loving ways to deal with death and dying

By Helene Rothschild
www.lovetopeace.com

Death is a natural occurrence, a passageway. When we can accept human death as another cycle of life, we can enjoy our daily lives more because we won't be in fear. Then we can also gracefully release others who are dying.

I often hear people say that they lost their mother, father, or another person in their lives. I can feel their pain when they express the transition in that way. I have compassion for their feelings. To assist them to feel better, I suggest that they just state what happened. For example, "My mother passed away last month." I also encourage them to close their eyes and speak to them. They are often pleased and comforted when they receive an intuitive response.

People who have had near-death experiences report seeing a tunnel and then a white light. There is always an angel or other being from the light waiting to take them back to the light. They feel nothing but unconditional love and their spirit (not their human bodies which is the only thing that dies) soars back home to the light. After a time of healing, they may become spirit guides or angels for those who are living.

Even though it may not look like that, all individuals have free will to choose when to leave the planet. No matter how they decide to pass on, it is helpful to accept their choice. The following suggestions can assist you to deal with death and dying in a loving way. Put a check next to what you want to say or do.

1. To help those who are dying, I can tell them in a loving way that:
1. They are complete here and it is time to go home.
2. They are worthy to return to the light.
3. It is helpful to forgive others and themselves for all that they felt was wrong, so that they can finish their unfinished business and go in peace.
4. There is nothing to be afraid of because they will be accompanied by an angelic being.
5. They can relax and just let themselves fall into a deep sleep and transcend back into the light.
6. They will be able to communicate telepathically with those they love.
7. If they choose, they can be reborn and live another life cycle on earth.
2. To help me deal with a loved ones death, I am:
1. Forgiving them and myself for anything that I felt was wrong.
2. Knowing that they will be totally taken care of.
3. Accepting that I am whole and complete by myself.
4. Understanding that I am not responsible for their passing.
3. To help me cope after a loved one transitions, I am:
1. Allowing myself to feel all my emotions and expressing them in healthy ways.
2. Realizing that I am likely to have feelings of denial, anger, fear, and sadness.
3. Giving myself time to grieve which is a necessary and important part of my healing process.
4. Asking myself, "What do I think that I still need from ___ (deceased name) that I can't give to myself?" (Examples: security, love, appreciation)
   Giving what I need to myself and/or allowing others to be there for me.
5. Thinking of my loved one as being happy and doing well.
6. Speaking to my loved one out loud or in my mind anytime I have something to say.
7. Reading a book about near-death experiences.
8. Attending a death and dying support group.
9. Reaching out to people I feel close to for support.
10. Seeking a professional counselor to help me cope with my loss.

Congratulate yourself for dealing with death and dying in a loving, healthy way.